Follow Through
by clouisewise
Summary: "If you're leaving, then leave..."


**Author's Note**: I would suggest listening to Follow Through by Hotel Lights when you read this; that's what it's based off of. :) This takes place sometime after season 7... just a lil' one shot.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! I wish I did, but Mr. Joss Whedon has the divine privilege.

"If you're leaving, then leave."

The words just come out of my mouth without me even thinking about it, cutting the deafening silence we have been locked in for the past hour, and even I am surprised when it happens. You slowly turn and look at me, tears clouding your emerald eyes.

"If you need it, Willow, I want you to."

I don't know how we got to this point. Well, I mean, I do. Sort of. I have always been a brat, you know? I always get what I want. And I wanted her from the beginning. I pushed too hard too fast and in the foreshadow of the impending apocalypse she welcomed the attention, the chance to release... the love. Now, though, there is no apocalypse (at least not within sight) and I fear that's all my Goddess needs to move on.

"I know you can't just cut the past out. I know you're hurting, and I know you'll always love her", I pause to gather my thoughts, "but Willow, I love you. So much it scares the shit out of me. I love you enough to want you to go if you need it, or even just want it. It's okay, Red. I'd miss you everyday, but I'd be happier knowing you're happy."

She doesn't say anything and suddenly I'm panicking, remember every night I catch her talking to Tara or every time I come home from patrol and I can tell she's been crying...

"I know you talk to her everyday", I say quietly, just above a whisper, "and when I come home most nights your face is still wet, and there's puddles on your pillow..."

A single tear falls and I can't help but chuckle - big bad Kennedy crying over a girl, the kids back home would never believe it. But nope, sure as shit, there are little spots forming on my jeans and I can't help but watch them multiply, faster and faster... I didn't even notice Willow get up from her position across the room and walk over to me. I didn't realize how close she was to me until she gently brushed a loose lock of my hair behind my ear, then placed her hand on my shoulder. I look up into those hypnotizing eyes and hold my breath as she opens her mouth.

"I tell her about you. About your smile and your hair, your eyes, every word you say to me. I tell her that you're my kite string... I tell her how happy I am to have you. I tell her I miss her everyday and will always love her..."

She moves her hand to my cheek, wiping away the tears there. I lean into her touch.

"And I tell her that she doesn't have to worry about me. That I'm so so, SO happy."

I let out the breath I've been holding and suddenly the flood gates break - I fall forward from my sitting position into her stomach and wrap my arms around her waist. I am wailing like a child by this point and I can't seem to make it stop.

"But every night", I stammer through my sobs, "you- you're crying every night..."

Willow gently pushes me off of her and cups my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her.

"Kennedy. My best friend is a slayer. Was THE slayer for seven years. She died twice, and sustained more serious injuries than I can even count. Every night you walk out that door there's the chance that... well, that you could not come back."

"Willow, you know I w-would never-"

"_I_ know that you would never leave me, Kennedy. But the vampires? The demons? The big bad? It doesn't care that you want to stay with me. They don't care that you love me. Or that I love you. And it's terrifying..."

She drops down to one knee, her eyes filled with tears.

"Kennedy. I just don't want to lose you. I'm sorry I snapped, okay? I'm sorry I got the wiggins and went all grrrrr on you because I was just so scared and I really didn't mean it, I was just upset because you were out patrolling and I called you to check on you because I had this horrible icky feeling and you didn't answer and duh, you wouldn't answer, there's evil afoot! And-"

Willow-babble is my favorite. But as much as I love it, I ended this tangent with a kiss.

"So", I say softly after pulling away, "you're not leaving?"

She smiles at me, and pulls me in for another quick kiss.

"I've made up my mind. You're stuck with me."


End file.
